How to Support Grieving Person

Avoid:

• Arguing over simple matters

• Giving a lot of advice

• Making unnecessary statements about the person who died “You know that

• Minimizing the loss

• Discouraging the grieving process

• Assigning new responsibilities right away

·  Saying “I understand how you feel”

·  Using the Why question “Why do you feel that way” “Why did you say or act like that”

Do: 

• Learn about the grief process

• Be genuinely truthful

• Demonstrate love and respect

• Encourage talking about feelings and talking about the deceased friend

• LISTEN, no matter what

• Offer to attend the funeral/service with a youth

• Allow crying

• Expect laughter too

• Follow the lead of the “survivor” with patience and kindness

• Offer opportunity for remembering

• Expect that your presence may be important, while talking may be limited

• Share some of your own personal experiences, but keep the focus on the person you are supporting

• Help identify others to talk to

• Understand that memorials can be comforting

• Believe in healing and growth